(post on submission coming soon)
I am a Christian. I am a mother of 3, 2 of which are school-aged. I send my kids to public school.
WHAAATTTTT???
I have a lot of friends that homeschool their children. More than I ever thought I would.
Growing up I had a bunch of friends that were home schooled. And to be completely honest, coming from a public school, I thought that we had some advantages. Some academic, social, life-experience advantages. And seriously, some of that is true. But also seriously, my views have changed quite a bit about the whole idea of it. Mostly because I grew up and have now have school-aged kids.
Kids that I will, Lord-willing, never homeschool.
A little background: When we lived in Ohio, the schools in our district were awful. Terrible. We were beyond poor so private schools were not an option. (Though unlike here, I think academically the Christians schools in the area were far better than the public schools in our town.) I think they know that some schools are just not good and so many area public school are very accepting of open enrollment for out-of-district kids. Sometimes we only had one car, so driving 20 minutes one way multiple times a day was not an option. And to add extra littles in all that sounded painful. So our options were public school or homeschool.
A dear friend gave me a real curriculum for preschool for Alex. I was excited and we gave it a try. And then.... I have never had such a clear sign from God in my entire life: I am NOT meant to homeschool.
Absolutely no doubt in my mind. This is not going to work long-term. And he's my easy kid!
So I got him signed up for Kindergarten at the best school in our side of town and then *Thank God* got final word that we were moving back to NJ. Where I actually like the public schools. Sigh of relief like you would not believe.
Ok. My friends that homeschool have changed the way I look at it. I am fully confident that they will do a good job of teaching their kids. At least most of them ;) And I don't know how they look at me, but I feel like the homeschooling world in general looks down, way down, on public school parents. Maybe it's the constant "this is why homeschooling is the best" everything that I see ALL the time or maybe they are just trying to reaffirm to themselves that they are doing what is right for their family. I don't know. Either way, there are a lot of times when I get looks of mild judgement when people learn I send my kids to school. Public school.
A few of my friends posted a link on FB to an article about the benefits of homeschooling. And really, almost every point got me thinking not that I wanted to, but glad I don't.
Ready for this?My points are compared to the numbers in the article.
1. Seriously? Guess how much driving I do everyday for school. Zero. They take the bus! OH MY GOSH I LET MY CHILDREN RIDE THE BUS. Yeah yeah whatever. ( I would have had to drive them to school in OH because their bus system was a complete nightmare and I wouldn't have been able to figure it out, let alone my Kindergartner. But still- in-district, schools are close.)
Extra curricular activities shouldn't be put in this, especially if you are going to make it a point to say that home schooled kids are still welcome to participate in school/township activities. Those I do drive for.
2. Yeah. This I agree with. Private school is pricey. And we didn't even want to pay for preschool, so private school is not happening. Let's save that money for a good college, thanks.
3. My children are excelling academically in public school (here in NJ). Alex is in a gifted program because he totally rocks at school. Yes, he's categorized. No, I don't mind. He's super intelligent and has extra teachers to push him further. Teachers that are far more creative than I am and have far more knowledge about what to do with him than I do. Danica is doing way better than we thought in school. She loves it and is learning so much more than I probably would have attempted to teach her at her age.
4. I'm afraid that it would turn into a ton of computer work. ew.
5. Hey guess what? If you are taking your kids to the school for special classes or activities, you're still driving them. And not teaching that part. Duh.
6. I love my children, but especially for Danica, it's a good thing that we are not together 24/7. Parenting in the evenings is easier when I am not tired out from them all day.
7. Days off and weekends are more special because we have more time together. Spring break starts in 2 days and I'm stoked to have my kids home all week!
8. Something I need to work on that I'm not sure them being home/going to school plays a huge part in.
9. Kids that go to school still have free time. They don't get a ton at school, but if they don't have it at home, then that is the parents' fault for overbooking them anyways. I often have to remind my kids- especially the boys- they need to just be themselves sometimes. I absolutely can not get enough of when they think they are super heroes or their little pictures that they draw. Which they are doing any second they can, by the way. We go through a LOT of paper here! Playing with their toys and when it's nice enough playing outside is never an issue either. They have lots and lots of time to do those things.
10. Any issues (though ours have been minor so far) are worked on with homework. And their teachers do work with them. Maybe it's just our school? I hear a lot about how teachers don't work with kids with specific needs. Always our teachers have helped my kids with what they need help with. Never once have I worried about that. AND they are more trained and equipped to do that than I am.
11. This I don't get. There is no reason to not work on changing habits when you do have time with them.
12. Oh sweet goodness this would be a disaster for us. I am not a morning person and wouldn't be able to get up and motivated to all the everything that goes with doing school. Time management is not my forte. (I mean seriously, I have a ton to do before tomorrow and I'm blogging. oops).
13. Younger children learn from older siblings. Yes. My youngest was potty-trained earlier and way easier than the others because the older ones liked to help. One was in school all day when this was happening? How ever could a little ones learn from an older one that is gone 8 hours a day 5 days a week? Oh- that would be because there is more time in each day and week than that. And Alex is helping Danica with reading and teaching her math things all the time. How is that when they are apart all day? Because they still have plenty of time to be together when they are not in school.
14. Save money? NO. I'm not paying for field trips and books and co-op dues. And just because I send my kids to school doesn't mean that I'm paying for day-care, too. I'm not sure why that seems to be standard with people these days. I don't work outside my home so I have no reason to do that. And no, I don't plan to go back to work when Tristan is in school so I'm not even just waiting for that either. We are saving lots of money but not homeschooling.
15. I have heard more times than I can count that parents can not rely on Sunday school teachers and pastors to teach their kids everything they need to know about God. So why should we be relying on teachers to teach them other life skills, too? I only have 3, but my older ones are learning to help with younger ones while they are at home. My kids help me shop when they are home (but Lord knows it's way easier when they are not with me!). I set timers for getting things done, too.
16. I have no doubt that homeschoolers are fine in the socialization department. I also know that any time you are with other people, or even between siblings, there is a chance of peer pressure and bullying. It's part of being human. And mine are exposed to people with different backgrounds and beliefs. And when problems do come up we give them advise on how to handle it themselves without us there. Because those are life skills I want them to have, too.
17. Sleep. yeah right. My kids would still be up and ready to go at the same time they are anyway. How do I know this? Because they are up the same time on the weekends, breaks, and all summer. They have been for years. And they are also up before me- without any alarms- every. single. day. No matter what time they go to bed.
18. Again. Why do we have to think teachers are going to teach them our personal values? Not their job.
The author concludes with saying homeschooling isn't for everyone. And that is the truest thing of this whole article. Public school isn't either. This I know. Especially if the public schools in your area are not good. I do feel like they/a lot of people are thinking that it's either all or nothing though, and it's not. I still see my kids a lot. I take time to make sure they know what is important and how much God loves them and how we can live to better serve Him. I know that part is my job and never once thought I was sacrificing that by sending them to school. In fact, by not being with me all the time, by being around non-Christians, they are learning to put their beliefs into action. And yes, even in second grade we've had things come up. To be honest, I do think that homeschoolers often don't have that chance since they tend to gather in groups of the same beliefs.
I don't overbook my kids. I don't feel the need to be involved in every activity available to us. Or even want to. We've decided that first grade is a good time to start organized sports for our family. And one sport a year is great. I'm not running 3 kids to music lessons and swim lessons and multiple sports every day. That has nothing to do with going to school or homeschooling. It just seems like a major headache that I don't want. Not to mention the cost of all those. And they certainly don't need all of that.
Also. I get more done when my kids are in school. And the whole "oh they can help you blah blah blah." You know what? It would not be easier for me to have to carry a basket of dirty laundry downstairs and wait for them to put it in the washer at their own speed. I do not want them doing the glass dishes. And there are plenty of things that I want/need to do that I cant because kids are around. Things that I will be able to get done once Tristan is in school and I don't have to worry about him ruining things or getting hurt.
And the things they can help with? I make them do anyways. It's just at 4pm or after dinner or on the weekends instead of the middle of the day. Grocery shopping is a million times easier with one- or none!- than it is with multiple kids in tow. No matter how "helpful" they can be- if they are even in the right mood! They are still around when I do most of my cooking so they can help if that can happen.
Basically, I with that people didn't think that just because people send their kids to public school that we are sacrificing all things good about having kids. WE are still raising our kids. Not the teachers. WE are still teaching them about life. Sure we don't get to go on all the fun field trips and all that. But I know plenty of homeschoolers that hardly ever leave their houses unless it's for co-op anyways. Sometimes I'm jealous of the fun things my friends do with their kids. But then I remember that we wouldn't be able to afford half that stuff even if I did think to do it anyways.
And now I look forward to planting our garden soon- with my kids! And playing outside- with my kids! And doing art projects- with my kids! And getting things done inside- while they are at school!
