And though she be but little,....

... she is fierce. 
 -William Shakespeare 

Probably the best quote ever for our girl. 

Back in the day, I actually kept up with my Xanga.  Pre-facebook, etc. so it was the easiest way to keep in touch with people.  I cant imagine how sad I would be if I had not logged the entire experience of the beginning of our journey with her.

 
They took the big tubes off her face so I could see what she looked like. 

http://pinkdebster.xanga.com/606429315/danica/

That's the first time I posted after I got home from the hospital after having her.  (Feel free to snoop around on there and read her whole story from then.)
 I came home without ever holding her.  I walked into an empty house because Alex had gone on vacation to Michigan without us.  Friends came to bring us dinner right as we arrived home and then about half an hour later, I got a call saying that one of my dearest friends at home in NJ was on life support.  Another call early the next morning to tell me she didnt make it.
Worst.  Week.  Ever.

Ok.  So when people go in to have a baby, everyone always gets excited.  People congratulate you and wish you the best, etc.  When people hear of the new baby they congratulate you more and everyone is happy.
When you go into labor 7 weeks and a day early, it's scary.  When the nurses tell you that you'll be lucky for a 4 pounder and chances are low they'll come out crying, there are no smiles. When complications make labor far more painful than it should be, it's not exciting.   When the epidural does enough to save your life, you can be thankful, but when it doesnt actually take away any pain, there is no rest.

People say "One of the happiest days of my life is when I had my baby!"  No.  Monday, July 23, 2007 was the scariest and most physically painful day of my life.  BUT...
We had our baby girl.
She did come out crying, not like a full term baby does, but PRAISE THE LORD, she was crying.   If ever there was a sweet sound on the day that I spent crying more than I ever had in my life, my baby girl cried. 
I'm pretty sure that Jesse got to hold her, but I did not.  They lifted her up enough for me to see her, but then took her away.
 3 pounds 3.5 ounces and 16 inches long.  My sweet little alien.

When you have a baby, your mind fill with hopes and dreams of them growing up and going on adventures and lots of fun things.
When you have a preemie, especially a real preemie (though she's not a micro-preemie),  those disappear.  When you are finally holding your baby with an IV sticking out of their head, coming out from the lights for only up to 20 minutes, hooked up to beeping monitors, forever labelled as 32 weeks,  there is no future.
Only when you get glimpses of when you *might* be able to bring them home, do you have a future.  And the future is just that- bringing them home. 

Danica spent 31 days in the NICU.  Amazingly enough didnt need any surgeries. Alex wasnt allowed to see her the whole time.  Optional chicken pox vaccine that we opted out of kept him out of the NICU.  Could my heart have broken any more?  Seeing other families with their babies' siblings didnt help.  Stupid optional vaccine.
Anyways.  At 31 days old, she was 4 lbs 13 oz. All she needed was an apnea monitor and she came home.  THAT was the happy day!  I remember seeing the pictures of my siblings and I at the hospital meeting the newest sibling... this is the picture I wanted to have when I found out I was pregnant. 

Oh how he loved her!  All the time running back and forth to the hospital got him used to sharing me.  He was- and still is- a fantastic big brother.

Danica didnt sleep for real until she was 18 months old.  She slept 7 hours once when she was about 7 months old.  That's it. We knew something was wrong when she was 'sick' at 8 or 9 months when we tried some foods.  But our pediatrician was worthless.  Our neighbor helped us figure out her milk allergy at almost a year.  Pediatrician didnt care, told me I should have stopped nursing her at 4-6 months.  And why?  because that's when most people do.  Probably she would have died or gotten close to it had we tried to give her formula.  We should have sued that guy. 
When we got a new doctor (had to change insurance to do that), we finally got sent to some specialists.  The first thing our GI guy said was "lets run some tests and see what she's allergic to," I got choked up and thanked him.  Saved those tears for when we got home.  That was the beginning of our next real chapter with her. 
We already knew about the milk thing, so I cut out all major dairy- didnt realize that even when I ate casein far down on an list of ingredients, it would mess her up.  But, after all the tests, lots of visits to the allergist and the GI clinic, we had things figured out, or at least enough.  I was still nursing, so I had to cut everything she was allergic to out of my diet, too.  Yes- it was worth it.  I wouldnt have changed that decision for anything.  And not just because I lost a bunch of weight! hahaha  I did stop right before that Thanksgiving because I wanted to be able to actually eat.  That part is selfish, but she was finally gaining weight again and happier and 16 months old. By 18 months she finally started sleeping through the night.  And that apnea monitor?  Finally gone.  The normal "3-5 months"  they told us had long past.  But her esophagus was messed up from her allergies and she still set it off sometimes.  So by 18 months, she was healing and looking better and actually happy occasionally.  And I finally wasnt worn so thin.  (about 6 weeks of this awesome before I got pregnant again! Ha!)

She's a feisty one, this little girl.  She is one tough cream puff.  And she is amazing.
She's been through far more than I ever would have imagined my kids would ever have to go through. She knows she started out too small, but doesnt fully understand all that yet.  Someday she will. And I have no idea how she will react.

Now..... she is fully caught up.  Skinny Minnie, but as tall as her friends as far as I can tell.  Her speech was the last thing to catch up, but little kids speak funny, so no big deal.  And 2 weeks ago, the week she turned 6, she started saying her R's.  Just like a lightbulb went off in her head and she can say them totally clearly now.  I dont know how to fix the bilateral lisp, but that's the only thing left!  We go to get her eyes checked tomorrow(first time since we've lived here- oops!), but making it to 6 without glasses is really good for a preemie.  And I dont even know if she'll need them at this point. 

For her birthday, we got her ears pierced.  She said 'Ow'.  Once for each ear.  That's it.  And now she feels 6, because before she still felt like she was 5.

Just little blue diamonds.  Or whatever they are.  She looks older with them, I think.  So pretty in real life.  (This is not the greatest picture of her.)   And since we got them later than her birthday, we'll be allowed to change them right around when her birthday was supposed to be!

My tiny baby girl is going into first grade.  She rocked at school in Kindergarten and she'll do it again this year, we're sure.  Which is a peaceful feeling for me, because last year this time, I was having meltdowns regularly thinking about her going to school.  She was awful all summer.  She hated me.  She hated every thing we did. She hated her brothers and was even angry at Jesse and extended family.  It was the worst her attitude had ever been- and she wasnt giving us any breaks.  I was afraid she would be mean to everyone there and not make any friends.  I was worried that she wouldnt do well academically.  I was nervous that she would accidentally ingest a peanut product and die.  And then she went to school (and I cried the whole first day)..... and was happy.  All the time!  Which was really weird for her but I liked it!  And she was totally fine at the work part of school, too.  Not quite as amazing as Alex, but at least grade level for everything.  We're happy.  Oh- She can read!  I know I couldnt read much when I finished Kindergarten, but this girl can read.  I give the credit to her teachers for sure.  They were awesome with her last year!
This year, first grade.  I'm not scared.  She loves school and we know that now.  She's also happier at home, too.  Kindergarten grew her more than she'll ever know.  She's learned to control her emotions (anger) much more easily.  I can talk to her like a real person when she's upset.  She loves her developing reading and writing skills.  (she doesnt care as much about math. :-P )  I'm actually excited for her and totally confident in her going to first grade.  Or what a blessing that is compared to how I felt last year!

She is my hard one.  We butt heads a lot.  But we are ever-so-slowly learning how to relate to each other, but we certainly have a long road.  I wont give up.  As she grows up, I'm sure we'll both want to, but I hope and pray that she knows I will never ever give up.  We do have good bonding moments here and there.  She is sweet to me more often these days.  And I love her more than I ever thought possible.  And I make sure she knows that every day, especially on the rough days.  She amazes me with how much anger can come out of someone so small and so young. But she amazes me with how tender and loving she can be as well.  I'm sure her personality will lead to many blogging opportunities.  As will our hopes and dreams that are now coming back to us for her.

We're supposed to what?

This post is much easier to write when I have time and getting along with my husband.  And most importantly, when I remember.
A million mini cupcakes and he's gaming.  So- time!  And he's being extra nice these days.  And I remembered!

I dont want to make this blog "preachy," but this seems to be a topic of interest.
And hopefully I can keep it simple.
There's more on this (of course), but let's focus on the true basics.

Ephesians 5:22-24 (NIV)
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.


We're supposed to what? 

"Submit" is a scary word.

Depending on who you are, this could possibly be the most difficult piece of instruction the Bible gives us. 

We're not writers, or super creative, so we didnt write our own vows.  We looked at a bunch of 'traditional' vows and picked which version we liked the best.  I purposely made sure that mine had "to honor and obey" in them. I'm pretty sure a lot of people purposely make sure they are not "officially" committing to this in front of other people.

It's not always easy.  Especially when he gives me tasks that I dont enjoy.  Or when he's being grumpy.  Or when we're not getting along.  Those times are when it comes down to my heart.  And I am so aware of how my heart is in these times.  I always tell my kids that their attitudes and responses are their own choice.  I am also choosing the thoughts that I have during these times.  And I have to make sure that I have the right attitude.  Because grumbling about doing what I'm told is not real submission.  Not the way God wants it.

I. am. terrible. at this.  The more I think and pray on this, the (slowly) it gets easier.  But there are still major issues.  I HATE CLEANING.  My dear husband needs a clean house.  (Poor guy.)  Sometimes it's a submission issue.  Sometimes it's not.  Sometimes the only reason I clean is because it's what he wants and I'm being nice.  Sometimes I dont get as much done as I could because I'm annoyed at him.  Sometimes I clean because it's what he wants and I'm angry the whole time.   I think he doesnt care what my attitude is as long as things are getting done.  Though I think he can tell when I'm happier about it.  God certainly does!  And that's the part that matters. 

There are times when submitting is just convenient.  Seriously.  I wont lie and say there havent been times when I wanted to say no to someone, but felt bad, and then was totally relieved when Jesse said no.  "He's the boss.  We cant do this."  Of course, there are times when I do want to do something and he says no, too. (Not as convenient.) 


Not just activities.  When we work on projects or are sitting and paying our bills, we try to be a team.  He listens to my thoughts and opinions.  He respects them- I have no doubt.  But if it comes down to it, he's the boss.  Sometimes that's frustrating when he's making decisions that I'm not 100% excited about.  Sometimes it's easier for me because I'm not decisive.  And sometimes that is frustrating for him- whether it be because it puts more pressure on him to make the right decision or because he just simply wants some more input. 

 I've had to explain this to a few people.  It seemed to never come up for a long time.  Like the people that I talked to just understood.  But then all of the sudden there were a few that were actually offended that I would obey my husband over their desires or "stand up for myself".  He's the most important person in my life.  This is the way we believe it should be and what we have works.  I'm not going to mess that up just for fun.  That is so hard for people to understand.  But I appreciated the opportunity to have to think about it and explain it to them.  Because up until I few months ago, I didnt truly think of it too often.  It was good for me.

I know this is not true for a lot of people, but most of the time, I think it fits with our personalities.  He's very first-born (yes, bossy).  I'm not independent.  Life if easier for me when there are instructions. Okay.  Not always.  There have been plenty of times where I wish he didnt tell me to do certain things.  Mostly because they are things that just dont sound fun.  But then- there we go back to the heart issue.  


Society today wants women to be stronger than men.  Not equals, but above.  Because we want to be treated sweetly and gently, but given all the power.  I havent seen that working out for too many people- not married ones anyway.  We are not the weaker sex.  But we should be the gentler.  That's the way God made us.  The man is the head of the home.  The wife is the helpmate.  Not equal in control.  To try to fight for that sounds awful to me.  Way worse than even as hard as it is to submit. 

Life for Christians is a giant ongoing battle between living for God and doing what makes our selfish selves feel better in the moment.  Relinquishing control is not easy.  But past the moment, past the argument, past the issue- is it better to have control and do whatever we want?  Or better to do what we're supposed to do?  To back off a bit and remember that our husbands are who God gave us to protect us, provide for us, hold us, care for us, be our best friends.

There are times when submitting to your husband is not required.  God doesnt want us to go against His will to do it. If it's illegal or harming someone, dont do it.  Fortunately, I dont think I'll ever have to worry about this part.
There are times when there will have to be some compromise.  I heard a story (dont remember where) about a woman who really loved going to to church.   Her husband really didnt love her going and  made her stop.  Instead of giving up, she invited neighbor kids to her house on Sunday mornings and did Sunday school there.  Eventually, he finally let her go back.  :)

Overall, submitting is a matter of the heart.  What's the point in obeying if we are not ever happy about it?  But how much easier is it to obey when we do it out of love and respect for our husbands?  It is quite freeing when we take steps to choose the right attitude.

Jesse loves me.  He knows me, he respects me, he doesn't always understand me, but he tries.  He forgives me for my shortcomings and has been giving me a million chances to keep working on them.  He's (usually) careful to know how much he needs to say without being controlling. Our marriage hasn't always been rainbows and butterflies, but it has always been worth it. Even in the hard times, I've never regretted to promise to "honor and obey."  I've regretted the failing at it, but not the commitment to keep on trying.  He respects my efforts and I appreciate that.  He gets frustrated when I fail, but he loves me enough to stick around to give me another chance.  And another.  And another.  And another.


This was done in pieces so I hope it makes sense.  It's one of those subjects that not many people want to talk about, but I'm learning to be less afraid of it.  There are no perfect marriages, but there is no reason we can't at least try to do what we're called to do.

At some friends' wedding when I was pregnant with Tristan.  I'm too lazy to look longer for something newer.  :)

To homeschool or to definitely NOT

(post on submission coming soon)

I am a Christian.  I am a mother of 3, 2 of which are school-aged.  I send my kids to public school.

WHAAATTTTT???


I have a lot of friends that homeschool their children.  More than I ever thought I would.
Growing up I had a bunch of friends that were home schooled.  And to be completely honest, coming from a public school, I thought that we had some advantages.  Some academic, social, life-experience advantages.  And seriously, some of that is true.  But also seriously, my views have changed quite a bit about the whole idea of it.  Mostly because I grew up and have now have school-aged kids. 

Kids that I will, Lord-willing, never homeschool.

A little background:  When we lived in Ohio, the schools in our district were awful. Terrible.  We were beyond poor so private schools were not an option.  (Though unlike here, I think academically the Christians schools in the area were far better than the public schools in our town.)  I think they know that some schools are just not good and so many area public school are very accepting of open enrollment for out-of-district kids.  Sometimes we only had one car, so driving 20 minutes one way multiple times a day was not an option.  And to add extra littles in all that sounded painful.  So our options were public school or homeschool.   
A dear friend gave me a real curriculum for preschool for Alex.  I was excited and we gave it a try.  And then.... I have never had such a clear sign from God in my entire life:  I am NOT meant to homeschool. 

Absolutely no doubt in my mind.  This is not going to work long-term.  And he's my easy kid!

So I got him signed up for Kindergarten at the best school in our side of town and then *Thank God*  got final word that we were moving back to NJ.  Where I actually like the public schools.  Sigh of relief like you would not believe.

Ok.  My friends that homeschool have changed the way I look at it.  I am fully confident that they will do a good job of teaching their kids.  At least most of them ;)  And I don't know how they look at me, but I feel like the homeschooling world in general looks down, way down, on public school parents.  Maybe it's the constant "this is why homeschooling is the best" everything that I see ALL the time or maybe they are just trying to reaffirm to themselves that they are doing what is right for their family.  I don't know.  Either way, there are a lot of times when I get looks of mild judgement when people learn I send my kids to school.  Public school.

A few of my friends posted a link on FB to an article about the benefits of homeschooling.  And really, almost every point got me thinking not that I wanted to, but glad I don't. 
 Ready for this?My points are compared to the numbers in the article.

1. Seriously?  Guess how much driving I do everyday for school.  Zero. They take the bus!  OH MY GOSH I LET MY CHILDREN RIDE THE BUS. Yeah yeah whatever.  ( I would have had to drive them to school in OH because their bus system was a complete nightmare and I wouldn't have been able to figure it out, let alone my Kindergartner.  But still- in-district, schools are close.)
 Extra curricular activities shouldn't be put in this, especially if you are going to make it a point to say that home schooled kids are still welcome to participate in school/township activities.  Those I do drive for.

2.  Yeah. This I agree with.  Private school is pricey. And we didn't even want to pay for preschool, so private school is not happening.  Let's save that money for a good college, thanks.

3. My children are excelling academically in public school (here in NJ).  Alex is in a gifted program because he totally rocks at school.  Yes, he's categorized.  No, I don't mind.  He's super intelligent and has extra teachers to push him further.  Teachers that are far more creative than I am and have far more knowledge about what to do with him than I do.  Danica is doing way better than we thought in school.  She loves it and is learning so much more than I probably would have attempted to teach her at her age. 

4. I'm afraid that it would turn into a ton of computer work.  ew.

5.  Hey guess what? If you are taking your kids to the school for special classes or activities, you're still driving them.  And not teaching that part.  Duh.

6.  I love my children, but especially for Danica, it's a good thing that we are not together 24/7.  Parenting in the evenings is easier when I am not tired out from them all day. 

7.  Days off and weekends are more special because we have more time together.  Spring break starts in 2 days and I'm stoked to have my kids home all week!

8.  Something I need to work on that I'm not sure them being home/going to school plays a huge part in.

9.  Kids that go to school still have free time.  They don't get a ton at school, but if they don't have it at home, then that is the parents' fault for overbooking them anyways.  I often have to remind my kids- especially the boys- they need to just be themselves sometimes.  I absolutely can not get enough of when they think they are super heroes or their little pictures that they draw.  Which they are doing any second they can, by the way.  We go through a LOT of paper here!  Playing with their toys and when it's nice enough playing outside is never an issue either.  They have lots and lots of time to do those things. 

10. Any issues (though ours have been minor so far) are worked on with homework.  And their teachers do work with them.  Maybe it's just our school?  I hear a lot about how teachers don't work with kids with specific needs.  Always our teachers have helped my kids with what they need help with.  Never once have I worried about that.  AND  they are more trained and equipped to do that than I am.

11.  This I don't get.  There is no reason to not work on changing habits when you do have time with them.

12.  Oh sweet goodness this would be a disaster for us.  I am not a morning person and wouldn't be able to get up and motivated to all the everything that goes with doing school.  Time management is not my forte. (I mean seriously, I have a ton to do before tomorrow and I'm blogging. oops).

13. Younger children learn from older siblings.  Yes.  My youngest was potty-trained earlier and way easier than the others because the older ones liked to help.  One was in school all day when this was happening?  How ever could a little ones learn from an older one that is gone 8 hours a day 5 days a week?  Oh- that would be because there is more time in each day and week than that. And Alex is helping Danica with reading and teaching her math things all the time.  How is that when they are apart all day?  Because they still have plenty of time to be together when they are not in school. 

14. Save money? NO.  I'm not paying for field trips and books and co-op dues.  And just because I send my kids to school doesn't mean that I'm paying for day-care, too.  I'm not sure why that seems to be standard with people these days.  I don't work outside my home so I have no reason to do that.  And no, I don't plan to go back to work when Tristan is in school so I'm not even just waiting for that either.   We are saving lots of money but not homeschooling.


15.  I have heard more times than I can count that parents can not rely on Sunday school teachers and pastors to teach their kids everything they need to know about God.  So why should we be relying on teachers to teach them other life skills, too?  I only have 3, but my older ones are learning to help with younger ones while they are at home.  My kids help me shop when they are home (but Lord knows it's way easier when they are not with me!).  I set timers for getting things done, too.

16. I have no doubt that homeschoolers are fine in the socialization department.  I also know that any time you are with other people, or even between siblings, there is a chance of peer pressure and bullying.  It's part of being human.    And mine are exposed to people with different backgrounds and beliefs. And when problems do come up we give them advise on how to handle it themselves without us there.  Because those are life skills I want them to have, too.

17.  Sleep. yeah right.  My kids would still be up and ready to go at the same time they are anyway.  How do I know this?  Because they are up the same time on the weekends, breaks, and all summer.  They have been for years.  And they are also up before me- without any alarms- every. single. day.  No matter what time they go to bed.

18.  Again.  Why do we have to think teachers are going to teach them our personal values?  Not their job. 

The author concludes with saying homeschooling isn't for everyone.  And that is the truest thing of this whole article.  Public school isn't either.  This I know.  Especially if the public schools in your area are not good.  I do feel like they/a lot of people are thinking that it's either all or nothing though, and it's not.  I still see my kids a lot.  I take time to make sure they know what is important and how much God loves them and how we can live to better serve Him.  I know that part is my job and never once thought I was sacrificing that by sending them to school.  In fact, by not being with me all the time, by being around non-Christians, they are learning to put their beliefs into action. And yes, even in second grade we've had things come up. To be honest, I do think that homeschoolers often don't have that chance since they tend to gather in groups of the same beliefs. 

I don't overbook my kids.  I don't feel the need to be involved in every activity available to us.   Or even want to.  We've decided that first grade is a good time to start organized sports for our family.  And one sport a year is great.  I'm not running 3 kids to music lessons and swim lessons and multiple sports every day.  That has nothing to do with going to school or homeschooling.  It just seems like a major headache that I don't want. Not to mention the cost of all those.  And they certainly don't need all of that.

Also.  I get more done when my kids are in school.  And the whole "oh they can help you blah blah blah."  You know what?  It would not be easier for me to have to carry a basket of dirty laundry downstairs and wait for them to put it in the washer at their own speed.  I do not want them doing the glass dishes.  And there are plenty of things that I want/need to do that I cant because kids are around.    Things that I will be able to get done once Tristan is in school and I don't have to worry about him ruining things or getting hurt.
And the things they can help with?  I make them do anyways.  It's just at 4pm or after dinner or on the weekends instead of the middle of the day.  Grocery shopping is a million times easier with one- or none!- than it is with multiple kids in tow.  No matter how "helpful" they can be- if they are even in the right mood!  They are still around when I do most of my cooking so they can help if that can happen. 

Basically, I with that people didn't think that just because people send their kids to public school that we are sacrificing all things good about having kids.  WE are still raising our kids.  Not the teachers.  WE are still teaching them about life.  Sure we don't get to go on all the fun field trips and all that.  But I know plenty of homeschoolers that hardly ever leave their houses unless it's for co-op anyways. Sometimes I'm jealous of the fun things my friends do with their kids.  But then I remember that we wouldn't be able to afford half that stuff even if I did think to do it anyways. 
And now I look forward to planting our garden soon- with my kids!  And playing outside- with my kids!  And doing art projects- with my kids!  And getting things done inside- while they are at school!

 

I do laundry every day... almost.

I go through a pretty decent amount of laundry detergent.  And some of the store bought stuff has scents that make me want to throw up.  There may be some psychological reasons, but still.  Who wants to want to throw up from their own clean clothes.  Not me.  And I know they have unscented.  Not enough people use that (I did most of the time before I started this.)

I started doing this way before Pinterest.  I got it from a friend...  And the original site no longer exists. And I am not spending the rest of my night looking for a link to the exact recipe.

This makes 4 gallons!  Which lasts me about 3 months-ish.  That's for an average of 7 loads a week.  And I dont measure.

First you will need: 

Borax. 
Washing Soda. 
Fels Naptha soap (you dont really have to, it sounds like you can use whatever soap you want.  Fels Naptha was in the original recipe and I stuck with it.  I tried Ivory once because I heard it was more gentle on super sensitive skin (like new babies), but I didnt see the difference, and this was just fine on my super fair/sensitive skinned littles... even on Tristan as a fresh newborn- never a problem!)
(Baking soda is optional, I usually use some)
Water, of course.
And four 1-gallon jugs.  (the original site said to put it in a 5 gallon bucket- but then you have to stir the WHOLE THING every time. No thanks.)

The biggest pot I have holds about a gallon.  So I fill that up with water and start heating it.  It should get to boiling, or close enough.  That takes a while so we have plenty of time to get things ready.  So..
 Real Step #1

Chop/ grate/ whatever the soap.  Do it because I said so.  And because then it melts way easier when you are mixing it into boiling water.  Stir, stir, stir.  Probably turn the heat down some.  Because Step # 2 will make it overflow.  Or at least it does for me when I forget to turn the heat down.  Which is every time except this last time. For real.  Once it's dissolved...
Step #2. 1 cup of Washing soda. Mix, mix, mix. Blow on it. Again, so it doesnt boil over. Or dont. Maybe that's just what I do.
Step #3. 1 Cup Borax. Stir some more.
Note: You dont have to be stirring this whole time.  But dont let it sit too long either.
If you want, you can add some Baking soda.  Up to a cup, I suppose.  I usually just use whatever is left in a little box and/or my container that I use for cleaning.

Ok. Turn the stove off.  Do you have your gallon jugs ready?  I put some water (usually about 4 cups) of room temp/cool water in them.  Because I do not want the insanely hot soap mix melting the thin plastic.  And then I start to evenly distribute the detergent.

I decided- after doing this for so many years- that it's easier to add water to the cooling pot of soap (after each on get the same amount) to dilute it more than it is to top off the jugs.  Which I dont do that anymore either.  It separates and gets globby.  Especially since my house is a little chilly. So.  With the extra room, I can shake it up and then add hot water (and shake some more) before I use each gallon.  Much easier than trying to shake up a full gallon of jelly.
And do make it a full gallon before using it!
Then I shake it before each use because it's not hard to do that when it's only one gallon at a time.  I think you're supposed to use about 1/2 a cup in each full load.  I just pour it around the bottom while the water is going in .

For fabric softener, I use... vinegar!  It does NOT stink. I promise! I put it straight in the fabric softener thing in the washer. It kills more germs and it really does soften our clothes.... better than not using anything.  I started doing this part when we were using cloth diapers.  (The waxy build up in the washer from store bought fabric softener- even if not used in the same load- can build up on the diapers and make them less absorbent.  NOT GOOD for the little ones. Or the mamas.)  And even though it's been almost a year since I've washed diapers, I still do it for our clothes.

I suppose if you are someone who needs your clothes to smell like something, you could put a few drops of essential oil in.  I dont. Because they are expensive and I'm okay with our clothes just being clean without smelling like anything.  Except when it's warm out and I hang it on the line outside... Mmmm that's my favorite.

Anyways.  I get questions about this one.  So let me know if you have any!
Good luck!

Dishwasher detergent

This one is next because people have been asking about this a lot lately.

We didnt have a dishwasher until we moved here.  So I was super excited to get a new one shortly after we moved it (because the one that was here was 30+ years old and basically just gave everything a hot rinse).    I was not excited when I would pour a glass of water into a fresh-out-of-the-dishwasher glass and it would suds up.  Just a little bit, but still.  Nothing says 'refreshing' like knowing you are drinking soap. Blech.
So I asked around.  And I do not have a link for this because a friend gave me ideas.

 I usually make up about 4 cups at a time- because that's the most (and still mixable) amount my little container holds.  Which, by the way, is labeled with a permanent marker straight onto it. I do not have time or care at all about fancy printed labels for something that is going to live under my kitchen sink.  (No offense to my label-maker happy friends out there.)  Anyways.  "Dishwasher Detergent" it says on the lid and I think the side.  It's a little faded, but you can still read it- in real life, not this picture.

So. 2 cups of Borax. 2 cups of Baking soda. a layer of salt. Shake shake shake.

I saw something about using Washing Soda instead of baking soda.  I tried it and I dont think it did as well.  Sometimes I make it halfsies with the baking soda.  Like 2 cups of Borax, 1 cup Washing soda, 1 cup baking soda.  But let's face it, the less ingredients, the better!  Especially when I'm out and I just pour them directly into the dishwasher thing.
My little old Tupperware midget is a perfect size for measuring. 

Rinse Aid:  I was putting straight vinegar into the Rinse Aid compartment.  But then I read a bunch of things about it messing with rubber parts inside the dishwasher when it sits there for a while (because each load uses so little that it does just sit in there).  So I've just been putting a cup with some in it toward the back of the top rack.  It doesnt really help dry as much.  But it does help get rid of more germs.  Which is the part I like!


And now... No chemical residue on our dishes!  No suds in my drinking water!  And I am happy. 
Let me know if you try it!

Cleaning 101

First.  I won! Second place, but still the same prize.  I am stoked about my new slippers and will definitely be posting a picture when I get them. 

Second.  Let's do this. 

First requested was for a post on my homemade cleans.  Aaaaanddd guess what.  Recently has been a time of making more of a bunch of them.  How convenient!

What's this?  Just baking soda and vinegar?  Yes. So simple!  something needs to be scrubbed?  Baking soda!  Wiped down? Vinegar!  The spray bottle is for convenience. 

The baking soda:  I put in a (cleaned out) Parmesan  cheese container so it's easier to sprinkle/pour.  I do not use this kind for cooking.  The giant bag is for cleaning... everything :)


Things about vinegar that I love:
1. It kills germs.
2. It doesnt stink once it's dry. (I hate the chemically smell of everything when I was done cleaning when I used them.
3.  It doesnt irritate anyone's lungs.
4. Kid safe!

Sometimes I dilute, sometimes I dont.  Just depends on my mood I suppose.  It cleans everything, too!  Windows, mirrors, other glass. (I think it works better than "streak free" Windex! Especially straight.) The sink, counters, tables, anything that needs to be rid of germs.

A little twist on this:

Need a link?  Pick one from here
So Jesse doesnt love the smell of vinegar.  So I thought I would work on that.  And Pinterest gave me some ideas.   Citrus has cleaning powers, too, ya know.  And if things need to *smell* clean, citrus is the way to go, especially instead of bleach or ammonia or whatever else.

So the sites I saw said to let it sit for a week or ten days. Around there.  OR you could forget to do that part and actually finish it after 3 weeks.  Oops.  But it still works.  And it smells good.  And I need to get more oranges to I can just keep this going all the time I think. The spray bottle had a couple ounces of vinegar left in the bottom and I left it there.  I strained the little pieces out of the mix and voila! Better smelling cleaner.  It's not a pretty color, but that's okay.  And I used a little before I added a bit of water.  There is no measuring in this one.  It's abotu 3/4 gone right now, so I'll just have to fill 'er back up with the straight stuff until I can get this going again.  But this one is definitely a keeper. 
Oh!  It's not quite as fantastic on glass.  Maybe the oils from the peels?  But I did use it and then just straight water and my mirrors are clear. 

So there you have it!  The real basics of chemical-free cleaning. 
And why do I do this?  Because it's cheaper than buying chemicals to clean everything.  And I really prefer kid-friendly.  (so it's safe for them to be around what was cleaned and they can do it, too!)  And for health purposes.  My boys have asthma issues.  And Alex's were terrible when he was little.  And I didnt even know this when I started, but I noticed *on my own* that his symptoms greatly improved when I stopped using chemicals.  I'd been chemical-free for a few years before I found anything to back me up (ok- I didnt look, I just happened to see an article somewhere and then had to share it for all the people who thought I was nuts).  This is not the article, but I figured if I claimed something, especially medically related, I should have something.  His asthma is not 100% better.  Especially now with living in a super drafty old house.  And neither is Tristan's.  But I dont want to know how bad his would be if I used "real" cleaning products. 


Stay tuned for dishwasher detergent!

Real quick

I have been taking pictures of my homemade cleaners over the last week or so as I've been making.  BUT.  I'm not doing that right now.

One of my dear old friends makes reall cute things.  Scarves, hats, little sweaters for little dogs.  And now slippers!  And I love slippers.  I wear them all the time.  And I would totally love to win some that she made.  And I get my name entered in more times if I blog about them.

CHECK THIS OUT

Aren't they so comfy looking?  That's on her Etsy site... feel free to check out all the fun things she makes. 
And HERE is her facebook page so you can see what she makes as she posts and enter to win, too!

Next time I'm on here, I promise to get started on my list of things to post about.  For real.  And hopefully while wearing some sweet new slippers. :)

*edit*  My dear "old" friend is older than me, and I never mind pointing that out.  Not just her, about anyone who is older than me.  Because I'm nice like that.  Anyways.  What I actually meant was "long term".  We have been friends since we were young.  Actually young.  Kids even.  So check out the business of my dear friend that I have known since we were just children. hehehe